Lesson #15: Well can you? Sheesh!

I CAN be nice so I'll be the one to tell you that is a lot of hair, um...as in way too much, for a profile pic. Some dudes are hairy, some chicks like it...but full on furry shoulders and shit? Is it midnight on a full moon? Are we waiting for fangs and sharp claws to pop out?

The best part is not even the picture. The shaming tone in the "about me" section does indeed tell me a lot about this guy. He wants me to ask a question so I shall: Why *would* I swipe right?

Here's a tip - maybe try putting something (anything) attractive in your profile. At Least! Gah

Swiping left on Teen Wolf

Lesson #14: BBQ 'n screw

...and slow, romantic love making with unwilling, terrified women...

This sounds like an invitation to my own rape/murder party and I plan to RSVP with a big LEFT swipe.

Lesson #13: He's a Wanderer, oh yeah a wanderer!

Do you know what this makes me think?  Your left I is whack! Why are you posting half of your face? If there is something going on, we are going to find out eventually.  So be proud of what you own.  If you have a "wanderer" or straight up lost an ear.  There may be a perfect match for you.  But you'll never know if you don't show......Swipe left

Lesson #12: I like cake and stuff

So yeah. This profile description is both hilarious and depressing at the same time. Kind of like his profile picture. He has very specific qualities he would like in a date and also he likes cake and stuff. Seems relevant...

Left swipe on this ass-wipe 

Lesson #11: Because it's my job

This dude's not awesome because he wants to be, he does it because it's his JOB! If being awesome is your job then follow through on that with an awesome profile.

Left swipe on low life...

Lesson #10: Drop it like it's hot

I feel like drugs should be an obvious no-no but that's just me. Maybe he's looking for a date with a cop?

Left swipe on the druggie type...

Lesson #9: Blurry Face don't care

Maybe this dude needs some more fiber in his diet...he definitely needs a better camera. I would stay away from selfies that look like you are *ahem* evacuating your bowels *ahem* and taking a picture of it in a dirty bathroom mirror.

Left swiping on (hopefully) soon-to-be wiping...